What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
