someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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