On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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