I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
