just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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