Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Randomize
