omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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