Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
