Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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