My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
