I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
