you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We just shotgunned beers for America
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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