I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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