Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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