he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
