Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
