I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
