it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
