Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
