So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My liver just had a heart attack.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
