i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
