And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
