What did we do last night that was yellow?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize