So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
