I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
