I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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