why didn't you poke me back
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
