No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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