i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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