My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
