This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
