Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
