dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
