yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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