I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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