Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
