While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
