i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
