Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
