remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
