you guys were way drunker than both of me
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
