apparently the secret to your success is patron
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize