Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
