Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We need a shit load of segways right now
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
