just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
