He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
this beer tastes like vomit already
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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