My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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