guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
