In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
