I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
