break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Couch. On fire.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
