I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
