3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
