I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We were destined to go to rehab together
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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