Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize