yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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