Swine flu is the new snow day.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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