Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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