Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
