with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
