So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm at about main and main street
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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