But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
