Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
how drunk are you?
Several
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize