I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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