he shaved USA in his pubs
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
